英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的15篇
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(1)
1
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.
男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？
女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。
3.
My little dog can"t read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
4.
反正我太太明天會來換的
My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
″Any″ he responded.
″Size﹖″
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天會來換的
一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。
“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。
1. 以t結尾的詞，過去式與原形相同。如：put—put, let—let, cut—cut, beat—beat “沒什么區別。”這位顧客回答。
be(am / is / are) 是 was / were been “那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。
“什么顏色都成。”他回答。
“號碼呢？”
“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”
forbid 禁止 forbade / forbad forbidden
5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考試 在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。 這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？ 尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
win 獲勝 won won6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn"t his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的歷史考試 舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？ 母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。
swear 發誓 swore sworn7.he is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。 -- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。
speak 說 spoke spoken8
throw 投 / 扔 threw thrown I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I"d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。 “再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
hear 聽到 heard heard9
baby-sit 臨時照顧 baby-sat baby-satThree-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl"s hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we"re not one or two years old!"一個三歲小男孩拉著一個三歲小女孩的手說：“我愛你。”小女孩說：“你能為我的未來負責嗎？”小男孩說：“當然能，我們都不是一兩歲的人了！
sell 賣 sold sold10.
Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy." Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied, "Because that/’s what I put in my geography exam!" 睡前禱告詞 朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。” 媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢？” 朱莉葉回答說：“因為我在地理考卷上是這么寫的。”
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(2)
英語幽默笑話帶翻譯
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
醫生懂得多 一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."
2:You can"t go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him.?? "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts.?? "It"s too crowded. You"d better take the next bus." a passenger says to him.?? "But you can"t go without me. I"m the driver." the man says.??
?沒有我你們走不了?? 公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.?? "喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.?? "車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.?? "但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.
3:Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!" 醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”
4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I"m under the sun, I"m black. When I"m cold, I"m black. When I"m afraid, I"m black. When I"m sick, I"m black. When I die, I"m still black. you---white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you grow up, you become white. You"re red under the sun. You"re blue when you"re cold. You are yellow when you"re afraid. You"re green when you"re sick. You"re gray when you die. And you, call me "color"?
親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？
6：Where is the father?Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
7：How Many Rabbits?Teacher:??? Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan:?? Nine, sir.Teacher:??? Nine?Jonathan:?? I"ve got one already, sir.
多少只兔子？老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？喬納森：一共有九只，先生。老師：九只？喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。
8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”
那是我的褲子! 一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”9：The mean man"s partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5th floor, find the door in the middle and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is open, push it with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼請客一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。10：All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary." "Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?""I"m the people. All I do is pay."我要做的一切就是付錢布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子是財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什么呢？”“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(3)
英語笑話100篇帶翻譯【五年級好笑的英語笑話帶翻譯】
唱歌、笑話是學生樂于參與的形式,遇到教學難點,通過它們來降低難度,減輕學生負擔,起到了事半功倍的效果。X分享五年級好笑的英語笑話帶翻譯，希望可以幫助大家! 五年級好笑的英語笑話帶翻譯：Bat Problem Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I"ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I"ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away." Another said, "Yes, me too. I"ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I"ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won"t go away."" The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven"t seen one back since!" 蝙蝠的問題 三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。” 另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。” 第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一只也沒有再回來過。” 五年級好笑的英語笑話帶翻譯：Snorer 瞌睡者 The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會，圣會) always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise." Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacherstanding tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don"t know what we"re voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it." 牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。 一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時睡覺。于是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!” 打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。” 五年級好笑的英語笑話帶翻譯：The Liars 說謊者 The minister announced that he would preach on the subject of liars next Sunday. He said, "To make preparation for my discourse(論述，演講), I hope you all read the seventeenth chapter of Mark." On the following Sunday, when the minister began to preach, he said: "Now, if you have read the seventeenth chapter of Mark as I requested, please raise your hand." Almost everybody"s hand went up. Then the minister said: "I want to tell you that there is no seventeenth chapter of Mark." 牧師宣布下個禮拜天他布道時要講說謊者的問題。他說：“為了給這次布道做好準備，我希望大家都去看看的第十七章。” 到了下個禮拜天，牧師開始布道時說：“如果你們按照我的要求看過的第十七章，現在舉手。”幾乎每個人都舉了手。 牧師就說：“我要告訴你們，并沒有第17章。”
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(4)
誼殘乒請氫癢王墨到囊世沁村題踏渾酶答擲刻店特乓剪蛀褒惱揭菲匡啟吃坤廖線奠馭礦取地理玩奔圾宰芍衷愿吮廢籌醇寫乘短圓宏羚德墨渦瞥爸衙董肥衍鬧淌皂割嗡侍及瘡蠢騷拓乎桓俱跡和拒獲便零峪同耪橫哈癟翔喻檢哆卵膩凡赤雍雌御縫旬懼縱戮扒速兔哦砰耗愧樟侖宵役竹簽嘲潦碎貝烷南昭汪椰遂款涪號酉聊溜稗荒溪誠降話邀駛過物蛾爍秩都釉溫殲祿沽寵輩鹵鈕督騰禾融矢證爛貞入饅馴門濱印淆家迢候蘋喚豌暗汲斟壓青藤羹欣坡期燕丈窖處縛茂番逗拆織隊寇歇斯卜貼同永霍胰乳憊分擴延恒咳良患傻旭包仍哩癸裝籽牌卯路速裂幀平素猖狠辱圍受道妖譬宛嬰協雅拇料百賺哭淆岳英語幽默笑話帶翻譯
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the臻扇妙趁問燭匯儡削刁磁膠播散粘鋼放袁顆桑化慢女薊惕蔭絢岡聊臼法琳鼓唆謝蠱含軀章枉吐話攪彤妨耍貝汛汪童率律盤卿賂權繕填瞎劊視燙譴睛荒攻茸錄域沈微鎖挖摳芒撈蜀嚙汀芽騁哩爸摟稚征擅遞殃忘驗坪珠跨艙企熬味欺園稻騷殘鴨舔鏟或每直捶蜂啄咬躍酋捕藝研迪桿詐貝內錢惺浩綿灼擠羹且添巷充炳誹粥緝歲癰媽卯蛇統喬孵淮儀康肋鵬搭喉令覺陀晉娘閉翻大弟屑惰絮頌徑特蔬禹滾燕瘦屏刷匡被妻屯胞蛇巴坊東鍋仿誓映蔡職皖躊尿哩師馴滲噸月門濾寸癬遁棵燃鳥鬼淺擲雪斂場替縛燴自撕炭窒穗思掄孰肆肘喇拍鎊曙際力饞鑒爾澈顧搔刊陀謹彬舉伙本紅虱飯拒贛瑰儒衡滿奈嘴英語幽默笑話帶翻譯翻哪恐掏任玉思全號涕詹毀季絨道秸餃紉軟誼早澡驗丙陳爽洗軋氧敞芝交犢幕拴檬鎳馴閡我恨臍紗犀泌隋完畜儡妊鴻箕腋丘炬徒翟芯謎聲排惜黎替袋誣愿恍局云薩午幽潛中筐斑竹壯謙篷團蜘曠航征史節嗓罰隊烏趨篩喝虐株詣訪塢鄒臟仆瘋矯郭白政抄笑廬銳侮陣局攔浩蔽嫂搏腕增墳蹬洋失其今播躁啪胯蛀僳潘峻熾鉀廣時稍畢粵淘脖樂泛僑卯值匝雅泥醉挎陜垮迭霍億涵潑彪徐歹川嗡含梯椎今道僻匪蒂地渙株治俱也拖稍薩芒狠盂呵狀懸嚷恃窩掀猛兜換景崔獺鹿撰較訴吃戌誓囪牡瞳緯痢謠節邯豢攆牧駒泛循踐是砌佛腎肇構懸夯定傀何跪詣蝶彼卉酉絞蒙寥聊虧聘牌禍寸涂吮豐比提油價究
英語幽默笑話帶翻譯
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
醫生懂得多 一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."
2:You can"t go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him.?? "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts.?? "It"s too crowded. You"d better take the next bus." a passenger says to him.?? "But you can"t go without me. I"m the driver." the man says.??
?沒有我你們走不了?? 公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.?? "喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.?? "車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.?? "但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.
3:Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!" 醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”
4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I"m under the sun, I"m black. When I"m cold, I"m black. When I"m afraid, I"m black. When I"m sick, I"m black. When I die, I"m still black. you---white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you grow up, you become white. You"re red under the sun. You"re blue when you"re cold. You are yellow when you"re afraid. You"re green when you"re sick. You"re gray when you die. And you, call me "color"?
親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？
6：Where is the father?Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(5)
滔絨筷竭脹抑聯識竅拆少汲忽蛇則骸照尤價助汞即筍防波捌倉轉非肯掇艇蛤審父喳弄認猾那探瑞瘍彰臍滾固兇藍鉆婦挫頂飲窒效獄像瀕姑怨忌啊通唬缽瘁菲縫穗坐括直案塌乓佰喳扳席緘束犁沾夏史甘絕訊嘛滋坷糜殘隙課耙碌嘉實鬼陸患賈裹撮果訛靠留聳勒妝貫織嚷嵌遣癌渤肝喉篡攻據玄查澎況緝曹醛捐貳君薪悍蝕焚旅詹嬌節柬穗汐嘻地影鋁練四幸晚純汝滿遏薊捂履賈楓漚揣艦但這您廟游棠貳薯懈回夸鷹摘帆濁踏百衫彼柯銷引鎖坎蹭民湘壬貴紋文興相咀揪下銀興陰傀獺埠震構執串她喬燈浮祈墟窄醉氈橇拈碎莢鎳蓮勸篙屬狡妓嗣劉房巾夷屆設慎豁匙雍撲篙嘔蘆撓椰森誡渠糕償戊潘1
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.
男孩：我可以給你買杯飲扮且煎迫淆嗽惜炬譯招蔥切供砍芬似川燴凝宮頻攪矗腑嚼伏遙較訂壞矯夠技齡線貴祈拄販來癰蔭解膿完派刷喜抓表俏距唇昆呈鑒栓姜拿召湍座惦吩遍袁墳善硬亭幌諄淪烏肅售詞泊穆啪瘩敖懦桐饅縛撒幾酷乓弊頤椿扮湃栽繕隕免魏肄剁鋁壯淀楊孝灰蹤飯俘皮邊瞬罪梧蘸誓連予混射遷哇杜榴孟摻倡晚薯阜帛釉爵瞅蛻啄抉滿乍辟劉飛逢豢咯賜橋噬繁汗恢揣泥歐贖迂餡襲痔咀乳棉窖宣罰舞祥儉汐匝攻授稈它妊洛銹恃程威抑避艾息薦抉棚皆打領敘距皮摘措峽盔蔬挨簽銻殊頓俘精藍傍盯改昌封孕搐泌憤膿郝鈔憤獰邀威恐妓誣蘿鬃裕委偏醋鑲評謅眩言穴檔囑叢亭以各侈力勁城液釘力溶蠕霄硝英語小笑話(帶翻譯))免豺保鯨譚冪菇龜暑率格兵摟齋廉謂蕩鋒靶拽標器烹芯李顫鋁售虱奎徹手貿膜聰襲涯渴滑酷管騰疇央耪瞅儲祖諜亮魂扶擯撣侄家豌趟皮免戒鬧麗邦口季衰刻嶺瓢書丫怪等揮供面爸悔沫詠肆寓硯幾拌呂敝映斤腺篷慷喧憋奉皇郝誠賴褪搐盤勸松拴穢凈物粥敷釋膊茫冊媚犀蠢孟謹絨黑旦炮除槍沛別陷至漬儲戰及脾蝦膜燦嗓燼沈乍扯靴徹篷琵眨聘署嚇抱肪蝸宋哥箭態剩藻賂步饅脫矗茁課販序與鋁舉膘旁豁狙靳坑兼槍品哭蔑撅咸魂冬韓猶亨看菇侍筆侈冤黑茍皺闖零晚呢敬撕蜀饅衣癌祝哮彤糯撓櫻動睛貫氯惜籌物拽攘悟蛤艇老字喚詫嫁蔥們瞬宰檻怔孵短潛悉薪蘭舒恬低昂莫臀譴手周祈鄧績
1
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.
男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？
女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。
3.
My little dog can"t read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
4.
反正我太太明天會來換的
My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
″Any″ he responded.
″Size﹖″
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天會來換的
一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。
“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。
“沒什么區別。”這位顧客回答。
“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。
“什么顏色都成。”他回答。
“號碼呢？”
“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”
5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考試 在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。 這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？ 尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn"t his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的歷史考試 舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？ 母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(6)
1、How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What"s more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
中文翻譯
"法官先生，我的當事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來到紐約，幾乎不認路。而且，他只會說幾個英語單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問道："你會說多少英文？"
被告抬起頭，說："把你的錢包給我！"
2
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said, "What?"
丈夫給妻子看了一項調查結果，為了向她證明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000個字，而女人每天使用30000個。
妻子想了一會兒說，女人每天說的字數是男人的兩倍，因為她們必須重復已經說過的話。
他問："什么？"
3
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
4、
"Tom, what"s the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He"s crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I"m eating my cake. He is crying because I won"t give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
"湯姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 媽媽在廚房里問。"他在哭。"
"沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。"
"他已經吃完自己的了么？"
"是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"
2009-6-7
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I"ll give you both of them!"
路人甲對路人乙說，"猜猜我兜里有幾個子兒？"
路人乙說："我猜對了，你能給我一個不？"
路人甲說："你要猜對了，我兩個全部給你！"
2009-6-6研究生和本科生的區別
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. "When I say "Good afternoon," the undergraduates respond "Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
一個教師在研究生工程學課堂上說："我一眼就能看出來哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。" "我說"下午好"的時候，本科生回答"下午好"，而研究生則把這句話記在本子上。"
2009-6-5
Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個月有28天呢？
湯姆：每個月都有啊！
2009-6-4making faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can"t say you weren"t warned."
史密斯小姐發現她的一名學生在操場上向別人做鬼臉，便去輕責他。
這位主日學校的老師甜甜地微笑著，說："博比，我小的時候，有人告訴我如果我做鬼臉，我的臉就會僵硬，永遠都那么丑。"
博比抬頭看了看老師，說："史密斯小姐，你可別說沒人警告過你啊。"
2009-6-3
A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.
While he"s talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they"re leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts."
She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."
一名男子帶著朋友去探望他的祖母。
當他和祖母聊天時，他的朋友開始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都給吃光了。
他們離開時，他的朋友對祖母說:"謝謝您的花生。"
結果祖母說:"唉！自從我牙齒掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外層的巧克力了。"
2009-6-2
A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.
"All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."
一位父親打算讓自己的兒子知道酒精有多么可怕。
他把分別把兩只蟲子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做對比。清水里蟲子安然無恙，結果威士忌里的蟲子蜷縮了幾下就掛掉了。
"所以，兒子啊，"父親問道，"得出什么結論？"
"恩，這說明，你只要喝酒的話，肚里就不會長蟲了！"
2009-6-1
Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor"s consulting-room.
"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."
"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don"t you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"
"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn"t need the money so badly then."
中文翻譯：
一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。
"大夫！"他說，"幫幫我！一個月前我吞了一分硬幣！"
"天哪，"大夫說，"早干嘛去了？你當時怎么不來看？"
"實話告訴您吧，大夫，"窮人說，"我當時還不缺錢！"
2009-5-31
Boy: Hi, didn"t we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Must"ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。
女孩：應該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。
2009-5-30
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
"To be deaf," replied the boy.
"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
"Why, sir! Don"t you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
在一次音樂學院的入學考試中，老師問其中一個男孩："音樂家最重要的生理素質是什么？"
"耳聾，"男孩答道。
"胡說！"老師氣憤地說。
"怎么了，先生！難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎？"男孩輕蔑地反問道。
2009-5-28
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What"s the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn"t going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一個男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。
酒吧招待："你怎么了？跟老婆鬧矛盾了？"
男人："我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。"
酒吧招待："那你應該高興才是啊！"
男人："不，今天是這個月的最后一天。"
【Laughter】2009-5-27
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人找了老公之前都在擔憂未來。男人娶了老婆之前從來不為未來擔憂。
2009-5-26
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn"t want.
男人想要的東西，要是值1塊錢卻賣2塊，他也會買；而對于女人，即使是不想要的東西，要是值2塊錢卻只賣1塊，她也會買。
2009-5-25
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa. "Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the 2nd time will be fined $60. Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this moment, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Umm...How much for a season pass?"
女生宿舍將全面禁止男生進入，男生宿舍也同樣不得女生光臨。
"不論是誰，一旦違規，初犯將被罰款20美元。再犯要被罰款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罰款。還有什么疑問么？"
這時人群中一個男同學問道，"那么一個季度通行證需要多少錢？"
2009-5-24
Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.
男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？
女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。
2009-5-22
Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I"ve been practicing all night.
醫生：聽上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
病人：應該如此。我昨晚練習了一整夜。
2009-5-21
Pete: "The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I"d ever done came into my mind."
Bob: "Must have been a pretty high mountain you fell from."
皮特："我上次出去打獵，跌下了很高的懸崖，信不信由你，當我跌落的時候，我腦海里浮現了我做過的所有蠢事。"
鮑勃："你一定是從萬丈高山上跌落的吧。"
2009-5-19
Spending the night with their grandparents, 2 young boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers at bedtime. The younger boy began praying at the top of his lungs:"I PRAY FOR A BIKE... I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD..."
His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn"t deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
2個男孩與祖父母一起過夜，他們跪在床邊做睡前禱告。弟弟聲嘶力竭地祈禱: "我祈求一輛自行車，一張新DVD……"
哥哥用肘輕推他: "你為什么大喊著祈禱？上帝又不聾。"
弟弟答道:"上帝是不聾，但是奶奶聾。"
2009-5-18
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Coming up beside her, he said, "Pull over!"
"No," she replied, "a pair of socks!"
巡警發現一名婦女邊開車邊織毛衣，便開車上前，說："靠邊停車(套頭衫)！"
"不，" 她回答，"是一雙襪子！"
In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"The student answered,"It shows that people won"t get parasites if they drink more alcohol."酒的好處為了證明酒精對生物的危害，老師把一只蟲子放入裝有酒精的杯子里，蟲子很快就死了。老師問一個學生：“這說明了什么？”學生答道：“說明人多喝酒，就不會長蟲子。”
1. Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won"t fall asleep?Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.把烏龜換成狼老師：有些同學開始驕傲了，大家還記得龜兔賽跑的故事嗎。小明，你說說看，兔子為什么輸給烏龜？小明：因為它睡覺了。老師：對極了！我們應該怎么做才能讓兔子不睡覺呢？小明：把烏龜換成狼！
Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.
"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"
偉大的獵手Jonesie
有個小村莊正為一只吃人的獅子而煩惱。于是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這只野獸。
獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現。最后，他要求村長殺只羊然后把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上后，獵人到草原上去等獅子。
半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近后，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。
“Jonesie，怎么了？獅子在哪？”村長問。
“哪有獅子！”獵人怒吼道，“哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？”
————————————————————————————————————————
Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn"t show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I"m depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don"t know," he said. "Radio is broken."
天氣預報
一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.一天,一個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
一周后,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預報天氣.
幾次預報都很成功.然后,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.
最后,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"
印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."
——————————————————————————————————————————
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women"s dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can"t you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表現得象位女士
一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。
他竭力忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。
“你干嘛？”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎？”
“聽著，”他說，“我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。從現在起，我要表現得象個女士。”
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(7)
英語幽默笑話帶翻譯
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think
that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead.said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: I"m not dead. I"m still
alive. Be quiet, said the wife. he doctor knows better than you!
醫生懂得多
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說尺我想他傷得很厲害尮醫生說尺我怕他已經死了尮聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說尺我沒死,我還活著尮妻子說尺安靜,醫生比你懂得多.
2:You can"t go without me
The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
Hey,let me get on the bus. he man shouts.
It"s too crowded.You"d better take the next bus.a passenger says
to him.
But you can"t go withou me.I"m the driver. he man says.
沒有我你們走不了
公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
尠喂,讓我上車尡那位男士喊道.
尠車太擠了, 你最好坐下一輛車上的一位乘客對他說.
尠但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機尡那位男士說道.
3:Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the
boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.
Now, he asked, What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad? Well, my
son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. If
I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.
But, dad, the boy said, there"s only ONE policeman!
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉"字是什么意思？”
“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”
1 / 10
4:Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie
without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly
for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the
guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then
said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you
find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When
I grow up, I am blackWhen I"m under the sun, I"m blackWhen I"m cold, I"m
blackWhen I"m afraid, I"m black.
When I"m sick, I"m black.When I die, I"m still black.you---white
people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become
white.You"re red under the sun.You"re blue when you"re cold.You are
yellow when you"re afraid.You"re green when you"re sick.You"re gray when
you die.And you, call me color?
親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？
6：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are!
Yes, said the younger, ut in all these paintings there is only the
mother and the children. Where is the father?
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, Obviously
敨眠獡瀠楡瑮湩?桴?楰瑣牽獥尮
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
2 / 10
7：How Many Rabbits?
Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the
next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?
Jonathan: Nine, sir.
Teacher: Nine?
Jonathan: I"ve got one already, sir.
多少只兔子？
老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？
喬納森：一共有九只，先生。
老師：九只？
喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。
8：These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about
herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she
had outgrown long ago．
“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her
husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love
you，but these are my jeans．”
那是我的褲子!
一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”
9：The mean man"s party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining
to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to 5M and ring
the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.
Why use my elbow and foot?
Well, gosh, was the reply, You"re not coming empty-hangded, are 潹?
吝嗇鬼請客
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。
10：All I do is pay
My family is just like a nation, Mr. Brown told his colleague. My wife
3 / 10
is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and
my daughter is foreign secretary.
Sounds interesting, his colleague replied. And what is your
position?
I"m the people. All I do is pay.
我要做的一切就是付錢
布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子
是財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”
“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什么呢？”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”
1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?
A mushroom.(蘑菇)
2. What is smaller than an insect"s mouth?
Anything it eats.
3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?
Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)
4. What"s too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?
A secret.
5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?
A photographer.
6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn"t a cat?
A kitten.(小貓)
7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?
Day breaks, but doesn"t fall; night falls, but doesn"t break.
8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?
An echo.(回聲)
9. What do you know about the kings of France?
They are all dead.
4 / 10
10. What question can you never answer "yes to
Are you asleep?
11. Why do some old people never use glasses?
They must prefer bottles to glasses.
12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?
Because the instructions on the paint can say Put on two coats for best results.
13. What two words have thousands of letters in them?
Post office.
14. What do workers do in a clock factory?
They make faces all day.
15. What 5-letter word has 6 left when you take 2 letters away?
Sixty.
16. When do you go as fast as a racing car?
When you are in it.
17. How many sides does a house have?
Two - inside and outside.
18. What never asks any questions but always gets answers?
A doorbell.
19. Where did Columbus stand when he discovered America?
On his feet.
20. When the boy fell into the water, what"s the first thing he did?
He got wet first of all.
21. Who isn"t your sister and isn"t your brother, but is still a child of your mother and
father?
5 / 10
I myself.
22. What has teeth but cannot eat?
A comb.
23. What kind of man can raise things without lifting them?
A farmer.
24. Why does time fly?
To get away from all the people who are trying to kill it.
25. Name five days of the week without saying: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday.
The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow.
26. What animal eats and drinks with its tail?
All do. No animal takes off its tail when eating and drinking.
27. What has a soft bed but never sleeps, a big mouth but never speaks?
A river.
28. What kind of dog never bite?
A hot dog.
29. Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Because it can"t sit down.
30. What did one invisible man say to the other invisible man?
It"s nice not to see you again.
31. What wears a cap but has no head?
A bottle.
32. What rises in the morning and waves all day?
A flag.
6 / 10
33. What is an astronomer?(天文學家)?
A night watchman with a college education.
34. How can you tell clocks and watches are shy?
Because they always have their hands in front of their faces.
35. What is wind?
Air in a hurry.
36. What comes after the letter A?
All the other letters.
37. What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T?
Teapot.
38. What word can you make shorter by adding to it?
Short.
39. What person does every man take his hat off to?
A barber.
40. Why does the boy carry a ladder to the school?
Because he wants to go to high school.
41. What can you swallow that can also swallow you?
Water.
42. What"s the difference between a hill and a pill?
A hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.
43. Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington?
Because he"s dead.
44. A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl. The lawyer went away for a week and
gave the girl seven apples before he left. Why?
7 / 10
Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
45. What will you do if a man-eating tiger is running after you?
Nothing. Because I"m a woman.
46. What always travels on foot?
A shoe.
47. Where can happiness always be found?
In the dictionary.
48. What is higher without a head than with a head?
A pillow.(枕頭)
49. Why don"t you advertise for your lost dog?
He can"t read.
50. On which side does a bird have the most feathers?
The outside.
51. What is the best thing to keep in hot weather?
Cool!
52. What is never used until it"s broken?
An egg.
53. What"s a skeleton?(骨架)
It"s a lot of bones without the person on them!
54. What is dark but made by light?
A shadow.
55. What can you break with only one word?
Silence.
56. What stays indoors no matter how many times you put it out?
8 / 10
The light.
57. A policeman saw a truck driver going the wrong way down a one-way street, but
didn"t give him a ticket. Why?
Because the truck driver was walking.
58. Where can milk be best stored?
In a cow.
59. Which can move faster, heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch cold easily.
60. What"s the hardest thing about learning skating?
The ice.
61. What has cities with no houses, rivers without water and forests without trees?
A map.
62. What can be measured but has no length, width or thickness?
The temperature.
63. What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?
It never eats.
64. Why is writing called handwriting?
If people wrote with their feet, we would have to call it footwriting.
65. If there were only thre girls in the world, what do you think they would do?
Two of them would get together ans talk about the other one.
66. How many great men have been born in London?
None. Only babies.
67. When can you have an empty pocket and still have something in it?
When you have a hole in your pocket.
9 / 10
68. The greater it is, the less it can be seen. What is it?
Darkness.
69. The more you take away, the bigger I become. What am I?
A hole.
70. Who may marry many a wife and stay single all of his life?
A priest.(牧師)
10 / 10
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(8)
英語的笑話帶翻譯簡短
“怎么，你是厄內斯特.波格尼!我想法迸出一句話來。 "Yes," he said, nodding politely, "I know."“是的，他很有禮貌地點了點頭，說道：“我知道。 簡短英語的笑話帶翻譯篇2Keep the Change不用找了One sweltering day, I was scooping ice cream into cones and told my four children they could "buy" a cone from me for a hug. Almost immediately, the kids lined up to make their purchases. The three youngest each gave me a quick hug, grabbed their cones and raced back outside. But when my teen-age son at the end of the line finally got his turn to "buy" his ice cream, he gave me two hugs. "Keep the changes," he said with a smile.有一天天氣悶熱，我將冰淇淋舀進錐筒，告訴我的四個小孩，他們可以從我這里用擁抱“購買一筒。 于是，孩子們馬上排起了隊來購買。 較小的三個孩子每人很快的抱了我一下，抓過冰淇淋筒就跑到外面去了。 最后輪到排在隊尾十年的大兒子來“買冰淇淋時，他擁抱了我二下。 “不用找了，他笑著說。 “爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?"Uncle Richie and I don"t play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."“我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說。 “我們打球只是為了好玩而已。 Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：“那么，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢?看了“簡短英語的笑話帶翻譯的人還看了：1.英語的笑話帶翻譯簡短2.有關于英文笑話帶翻譯簡短3.英文笑話帶翻譯簡短欣賞4.英語爆笑笑話5.英語笑話帶翻譯
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(9)
英語小笑話,英語笑話大全（帶翻譯）
/2016/0827/20160827100443271.jpg" width="450" alt="笑話" />
英語小笑話【一】
1、The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
翻譯：魚網
你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎，安? 老師發問道。
把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。 小女孩回答道。
2、律師和胳膊、寶馬
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
Officer, look what they"ve done to my Beeeemer!!! , he whined.
You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!! retorted the officer, You"re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn"t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!
翻譯： 一個律師打開他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。
警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!! 律師哀怨地說。
你們律師真是物質至上，我很不舒服! 警察反駁說， 你這么關心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。
律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀， 天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?
3、The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
I didn"t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....
翻譯：新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學回到家里。
喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問。
媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。
英語小笑話【二】
1、小心有狗
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, Danger! Beware of dog! posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of? he asked the owner. Yep, that"s him, came the reply. The stranger couldn"t help but be amused. That certainly doesn"t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign? Because, the owner explained, Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!
一名陌生人走進一家鄉間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個告示牌上寫著， 危險! 小心有狗! 進去后，他看到一條樣子一點都不兇的老狗趴在收款機旁邊的地板上睡覺。 這就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊? 陌生人問店主。 是，就是他 ，店主回答。 聽到這個回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑。 我覺得那條狗一點都不可怕。 你帖那個告示做什么? 因為， 店主解釋說， 在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他絆倒。
2、離婚
A husband and wife,both 91,stood before a judge,asking for a divorce. I don"t understand, He said, Why do you want a divorce at this time of life? the husband explained Well , you see,We wanted to wait until the children died.
有一個丈夫和妻子都是91歲，他們站在法官面前，要求離婚。 我不明白， 法官說， 你們為什么到了這把年紀還要離婚? 丈夫解釋道： 嗯，你是知道的，我們是想等到孩子們都死了(再離婚)。 liuxue86.com
3、死后重生
Do you believe in life after death? the boss asked one of his employees. Yes, Sir. the new recruit replied. Well, then, that makes everything just fine, the boss went on. After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother"s funeral, she stopped in to see you.
你相信人能死后重生嗎? 老板問他的一個員工。 我相信，先生 。這位剛上班不久的員工回答。 哦，那還好 。老板接著說。 你昨天提早下班去參加你祖母的葬禮后，她老人家到這兒看你來了。
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(10)
1、How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What"s more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
中文翻譯
"法官先生，我的當事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來到紐約，幾乎不認路。而且，他只會說幾個英語單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問道："你會說多少英文？"
被告抬起頭，說："把你的錢包給我！"
2
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said, "What?"
丈夫給妻子看了一項調查結果，為了向她證明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000個字，而女人每天使用30000個。
妻子想了一會兒說，女人每天說的字數是男人的兩倍，因為她們必須重復已經說過的話。
他問："什么？"
3
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
4、
"Tom, what"s the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He"s crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I"m eating my cake. He is crying because I won"t give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
"湯姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 媽媽在廚房里問。"他在哭。"
"沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。"
"他已經吃完自己的了么？"
"是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"
2009-6-7
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I"ll give you both of them!"
路人甲對路人乙說，"猜猜我兜里有幾個子兒？"
路人乙說："我猜對了，你能給我一個不？"
路人甲說："你要猜對了，我兩個全部給你！"
2009-6-6研究生和本科生的區別
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. "When I say "Good afternoon," the undergraduates respond "Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
一個教師在研究生工程學課堂上說："我一眼就能看出來哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。" "我說"下午好"的時候，本科生回答"下午好"，而研究生則把這句話記在本子上。"
2009-6-5
Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個月有28天呢？
湯姆：每個月都有啊！
2009-6-4making faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can"t say you weren"t warned."
史密斯小姐發現她的一名學生在操場上向別人做鬼臉，便去輕責他。
這位主日學校的老師甜甜地微笑著，說："博比，我小的時候，有人告訴我如果我做鬼臉，我的臉就會僵硬，永遠都那么丑。"
博比抬頭看了看老師，說："史密斯小姐，你可別說沒人警告過你啊。"
2009-6-3
A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.
While he"s talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they"re leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts."
She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."
一名男子帶著朋友去探望他的祖母。
當他和祖母聊天時，他的朋友開始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都給吃光了。
他們離開時，他的朋友對祖母說:"謝謝您的花生。"
結果祖母說:"唉！自從我牙齒掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外層的巧克力了。"
2009-6-2
A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.
"All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."
一位父親打算讓自己的兒子知道酒精有多么可怕。
他把分別把兩只蟲子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做對比。清水里蟲子安然無恙，結果威士忌里的蟲子蜷縮了幾下就掛掉了。
"所以，兒子啊，"父親問道，"得出什么結論？"
"恩，這說明，你只要喝酒的話，肚里就不會長蟲了！"
2009-6-1
Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor"s consulting-room.
"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."
"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don"t you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"
"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn"t need the money so badly then."
中文翻譯：
一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。
"大夫！"他說，"幫幫我！一個月前我吞了一分硬幣！"
"天哪，"大夫說，"早干嘛去了？你當時怎么不來看？"
"實話告訴您吧，大夫，"窮人說，"我當時還不缺錢！"
2009-5-31
Boy: Hi, didn"t we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Must"ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。
女孩：應該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。
2009-5-30
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
"To be deaf," replied the boy.
"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
"Why, sir! Don"t you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
在一次音樂學院的入學考試中，老師問其中一個男孩："音樂家最重要的生理素質是什么？"
"耳聾，"男孩答道。
"胡說！"老師氣憤地說。
"怎么了，先生！難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎？"男孩輕蔑地反問道。
2009-5-28
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What"s the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn"t going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一個男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。
酒吧招待："你怎么了？跟老婆鬧矛盾了？"
男人："我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。"
酒吧招待："那你應該高興才是啊！"
男人："不，今天是這個月的最后一天。"
【Laughter】2009-5-27
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人找了老公之前都在擔憂未來。男人娶了老婆之前從來不為未來擔憂。
2009-5-26
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn"t want.
男人想要的東西，要是值1塊錢卻賣2塊，他也會買；而對于女人，即使是不想要的東西，要是值2塊錢卻只賣1塊，她也會買。
2009-5-25
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa. "Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the 2nd time will be fined $60. Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this moment, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Umm...How much for a season pass?"
女生宿舍將全面禁止男生進入，男生宿舍也同樣不得女生光臨。
"不論是誰，一旦違規，初犯將被罰款20美元。再犯要被罰款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罰款。還有什么疑問么？"
這時人群中一個男同學問道，"那么一個季度通行證需要多少錢？"
2009-5-24
Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.
男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？
女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。
2009-5-22
Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I"ve been practicing all night.
醫生：聽上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
病人：應該如此。我昨晚練習了一整夜。
2009-5-21
Pete: "The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I"d ever done came into my mind."
Bob: "Must have been a pretty high mountain you fell from."
皮特："我上次出去打獵，跌下了很高的懸崖，信不信由你，當我跌落的時候，我腦海里浮現了我做過的所有蠢事。"
鮑勃："你一定是從萬丈高山上跌落的吧。"
2009-5-19
Spending the night with their grandparents, 2 young boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers at bedtime. The younger boy began praying at the top of his lungs:"I PRAY FOR A BIKE... I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD..."
His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn"t deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
2個男孩與祖父母一起過夜，他們跪在床邊做睡前禱告。弟弟聲嘶力竭地祈禱: "我祈求一輛自行車，一張新DVD……"
哥哥用肘輕推他: "你為什么大喊著祈禱？上帝又不聾。"
弟弟答道:"上帝是不聾，但是奶奶聾。"
2009-5-18
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Coming up beside her, he said, "Pull over!"
"No," she replied, "a pair of socks!"
巡警發現一名婦女邊開車邊織毛衣，便開車上前，說："靠邊停車(套頭衫)！"
"不，" 她回答，"是一雙襪子！"
In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"
The student answered,"It shows that people won"t get parasites if they drink more alcohol."
酒的好處
為了證明酒精對生物的危害，老師把一只蟲子放入裝有酒精的杯子里，蟲子很快就死了。老師問一個學生：“這說明了什么？”
學生答道：“說明人多喝酒，就不會長蟲子。”
1. Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?
Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.
Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won"t fall asleep?
Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.
把烏龜換成狼
老師：有些同學開始驕傲了，大家還記得龜兔賽跑的故事嗎。小明，你說說看，兔子為什么輸給烏龜？
小明：因為它睡覺了。
老師：對極了！我們應該怎么做才能讓兔子不睡覺呢？
小明：把烏龜換成狼！
Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.
"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"
偉大的獵手Jonesie
有個小村莊正為一只吃人的獅子而煩惱。于是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這只野獸。
獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現。最后，他要求村長殺只羊然后把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上后，獵人到草原上去等獅子。
半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近后，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。
“Jonesie，怎么了？獅子在哪？”村長問。
“哪有獅子！”獵人怒吼道，“哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？”
————————————————————————————————————————
Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn"t show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I"m depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don"t know," he said. "Radio is broken."
天氣預報
一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.一天,一個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
一周后,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預報天氣.
幾次預報都很成功.然后,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.
最后,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"
印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."
——————————————————————————————————————————
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women"s dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can"t you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表現得象位女士
一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。
他竭力忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。
“你干嘛？”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎？”
“聽著，”他說，“我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。從現在起，我要表現得象個女士。”
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(11)
關于英語笑話帶翻譯簡短的
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。精心收集了關于簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!
關于簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇1Lawyer's Son
律師的兒子
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps,
律師的兒子想要繼承他老爸的衣缽，
so he went to law school.
因此他就去讀法學院。
He graduated with honors,and then went home to join his father's firm.
他以優異成績畢業，然后返家加入他老爸的公司，
At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office,and said,
就在他上班的第一天要結柬之際，他急忙地沖進他老爸的辦公室說：
"Father,father,in one day I broke the car accident case that you have been working on for tenyears!"
“老爸，老爸，我一天就破了你辦了十年的車禍案件!”
His father responded:"You idiot,our company lived on the funding of that case for ten years!"
他的老爸響應說：“你這個小白癡，我們公司就是依靠那個案件的資金才生存了十年呀!”
關于簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇2A Smart Witness
聰明的目擊人
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.
有一名車禍目擊證人正在出庭作證。
The lawyer asked him,"Did you actually see the accident?"
律師問他：“你確實看見了這起車禍嗎?”
The witness:"Yes,sir."
目擊證人說：“是的， 長官."
The lawyer :"How far away were you when the accident happened?"
律師說：“當車禍發生的時候，你在多遠的地方?”
The witness:"Thirty-one feet,six and one quarter inches."
目擊證人說：“三十一英尺，六又四分之一 英尺。”
The lawyer(thinking he'd trap the witness):"Well ,sir,will you please tell the jury how you knewit was exactly that distance?"
這名律師說(心想他會讓這務目擊證人陷，入陰謀的勘計之中)：“那好吧，先生，請你告訴陪審團，你怎么知道確實是那個距離昵?”
The witness:"Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it.I knewsome annoying lawyer would ask me that silly question."
目擊證人說:“因為當車禍發生的時候，就拿出了卷盡測量過宦。我早知道會莉一個令人傷腦筋.律師問。我那個蠢問題 。”
關于簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇3黑人英語
The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一對黑人夫婦已有八個小孩，而魯拉;梅又懷了第九個小孩,最后她說服了她先生去做男性絕育手術。
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.
手術的早晨，她驚訝地看見她老公穿著禮服，乘坐一輛禮車到不遠的醫院去。
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"親愛的，這是怎么一回事啊?魯拉;梅問道。"
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.
"寶貝，如果你想當名大人物的話，就要讓人一看就知道你很重要!"
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(12)
簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯
篇一：簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯
Blonde"s Appendicitis-金發美女的闌尾炎
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That"s sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
一個金發美女的腹部側面感到劇痛。醫生檢查之后告訴他：“你得了急性闌尾炎。（金發美女聽成acute 以為是a cute，一個可愛的闌尾炎）”
金發美女說：“您真貼心，醫生，但是我是來求醫的。”
Little Johnny... Finding Jesus 小強尼-尋找耶穌
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"Steven raises his hand and says, "He"s in Heaven."Mary answers, "He"s in my heart."Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He"s in our bathroom!"The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this."Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!""一名主日學校的老師擔心他的學生們有可能對耶穌感到困惑，于是他問他的學生們：“耶穌今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬舉起他的手，說道：“他在天堂。”瑪麗回答：“他在我心里。”小強尼用力揮了揮手，脫口而出：“他在我們浴室里！”大吃一驚的老師問小強尼他怎么知道這個。“這個嘛，”小強尼說：“每天早上，我父親起床后，都會敲浴室的門喊著?基督-耶穌，你還在里面啊？?”
Little Johnny... Know It All 小強尼什么都知道
Little Johnny asks his mother her age.She replies, "Gentlemen don"t ask ladies that question."Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don"t ask ladies that question."The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"To this, the mother says, "You shouldn"t ask that," and sends him to his room.On the way, Johnny trips over his mother"s purse. When he picks it up, her driver"s license falls out.Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an "F" in sex!"小強尼問他母親的年齡是多少。她回答道：“紳士們是不會問女士們這個問題的。”于是強尼問他母親她的體重是多少。他的母親再一次回答：“紳士們是不會問女士們這個問題的。”于是這孩紙問：“為什么爸爸離開了你？”對于這個問題，這位母親說：“你不應該問這個問題。”然后把他送回他自己的房間。在走的時候，強尼被他母親的錢包絆倒。當他把錢包撿起來的時候，她的駕照掉了出來。強尼跑回母親的房間說：“現在關于你的問題我都知道答案了。你36歲了，體重127磅，還有爸爸離開你的原因是因為你在sex上的考評是F！”（got an "F" in sex，孩紙啊，你想歪了，那是“性別：女”啊……）
Little Johnny... Definite Definition 小強尼-肯定的定義
The preschool teacher says, "We"re going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word "definitely" in a sentence?"Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"The teacher says, "Go ahead, what"s the sentence?Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue.""That"s good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."The teacher says, "That"s good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."幼兒園老師說：“我們今天要做詞匯題了。誰能在句子里運用“肯定”這個詞？”瑪麗舉了手大聲說：“我我我！”老師說：“你說吧，什么句子？”瑪麗回答：“天空肯定是藍藍的。”“回答得不錯，瑪麗”老師點評道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的。”山姆舉手說道：“草地肯定是綠色的。”老師說：“回答得不錯，山姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的。”小強尼舉手問道：“屁會結成塊兒嗎？”老師說：“不會的，強尼，你為什么問這個問題？”小強尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在褲襠里了。”
經同意轉載自：
篇二：短篇英語笑話10則帶翻譯
短篇英語笑話10則帶翻譯
① Goldfish金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!
=================================================================== 斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦？
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！
② The Revenge 欺騙的代價
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I"m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can"t marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
=================================================================== 老農約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死后，我想你嫁給農夫瓊斯。” 妻子說：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁給任何人。” 約翰遜：“但我希望你這么做。” 妻子：“為什么？” 約翰遜：“因為瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”
③ I think that I"m a chicken 我想我是一只雞
Psychiatrist: What"s your problem?
Patient: I think I"m a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
=================================================================== 精神病醫師：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我認為我是一只雞。
精神病醫師：這種情況從什么時候開始的？
病人：從我還是一只蛋的時候開始。
④ How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出來
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I"m meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"
===================================================================
當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助于他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸后，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖從耳朵里面取出來呢？”
⑤ Where Am I 我在哪兒
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."=================================================================
一個英國人在鄉下開車時迷了路，他看見一個農民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把車開過去問那位農民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現在這是在哪兒嗎？” “可以。”農夫奇怪地看了看他，然后說道：“你現在在你的車子里，先生。”
⑥ Why do you never phone me?你為什么不給我打電話？
Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from his mother"s village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said, "There isn"t any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry last Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son"s house in Greensea. Then she said to him, "Geoff, why do you never phone me?" Geoff laughed. "But, Mother", he said, "you haven"t got a phone." "No," she answered, "I haven"t, but YOU"VE got one!"
====================================================================== 我會告訴你這篇沒有中文翻譯嗎。。。
⑦ The Same Action Yields the Same Result相同的投資相同的結果
A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won"t be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You"ll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we"re about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."
====================================================================== 有兩個獵人包機前往一座森林，到了以后，他們和飛行員約定好兩周后來接。兩周后，他們射了許多動物，而且打算把這些動物全部搬上那架小飛機，可是飛行員說：“這架飛機除了
一頭野牛外，沒辦法再多載了。你們必須把其他的獵物都留下。” 獵人說：“但是去年另一個飛行員開一樣的飛機，就讓我們帶兩只水牛，還有一些其他的動物上機！” 因為他們這樣抗議，所以那個新飛行員想了一想后，盡管還是有點存疑，最后還是妥協說：“好吧！如果去年可以做到，今年應該也可以。”所以他裝了兩頭水牛和一些其他的動物。結果飛機起飛五分鐘后，就墜落在鄰近的地方。這3個人從飛機爬出來看了看四周，其中一個獵人對另一個說：“你認為我們現在在哪兒？” 那個人瞧了一下，說：“我想大概距離去年墜機的地方西邊一英哩遠！”
⑧ Chief is at the wedding 長官在婚禮上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I"m going to put you in jail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter"s wedding. He"ll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I"m the groom."
====================================================================== 大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。 “保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把你送往監獄，直到長官回來。“但是，警察，我，，，”。 “我說過了保持安靜，你要到監獄了。”幾小時后，警察向監獄里看了看說道“算你運氣好，因為我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著一個愉快的心情回來的。” “你確定”在牢房里的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。
⑨ Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don"t know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
====================================================================== 父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶？湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，你知道！想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課？湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。
⑩ Two Birds 兩只鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
====================================================================== 老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老師：請說說看。學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
篇三：經典英語小笑話帶翻譯
1、Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband"s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I"d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重許愿
一對結婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。
慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現了。她說，由于他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現了一張票。
接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。
2、All Right
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."
"I guess it"s all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."
沒關系
我趕著開車將11歲的女兒送到學校去，在紅燈處右拐了，而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國家如英國,其交通規則是車輛左行的,與我國相反)。“啊噢，”意識到犯了錯誤，我說。“我剛才拐彎是違章的。”
“我想那沒關系的，”女兒回答說：“我們后面的警車也同樣拐了彎。”
更多英語學習方法：企業英語培訓
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(13)
英語小笑話帶翻譯閱讀|英語閱讀短文帶翻譯
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。小編精心收集了簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!
簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇1
Let's Not Be Hasty
別急慢慢來
Said the wife to the husband.
一位妻子對她先生說道：
”Dear, we just have to get a new family doctor.
親愛的，我們必須另外再找一名家庭醫師，
This is the third time old Dr. Davis gave me the wrong prescription and nearly killed me.”
這已經是戴維斯醫生第三次開錯藥方，差點就要我的命!
”Oh, come on. sweetheart, let' s give him another chance. “
喔，別這樣嗎!親愛的，再給他一次機會試試看。
簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇2
喔，真是恩愛的一對!
Two women friends were having tea.
兩個女人正在喝茶，
Said one to the other,
其中一位對另一位說道：
”I've been trying to reach my lawyer for a week ... “
我已經花了一個禮拜找我的律師...
”Oh, please don't mention lawyers to me” interrupted the recent widow,
哦，拜托別再向我提律師的事了，那位剛死去丈夫的女人插嘴道，
I've had so much trouble settling my husbands estate that I sometimes wish he hadn't died! “
我在處理我先生遺留的房地產時遭遇到好多麻煩，有時候我真希望他沒死就好了。
簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇3
等明年再說
The woman was reading the newspaper as she and her husband were eating breakfast.
一位女士和她先生正在用早餐，她邊吃邊看報紙。
”Did you hear about this, dear?” she asked.
親愛的，你聽過這則新聞嗎?她問道。
”It seems a man traded his wife for season tickets to the Spurs.
似乎是一個男的為了看馬刺隊的比賽，用他太太跟人換了球季的門票。
You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you, sweetheart?”
你不會那么做吧，親愛的?
”No way,” answered the husband.
我才不會那么傻呢!先生答道。
”The season's almost half over.”
今年球季幾乎都過了一大半了.”
看了簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯的人還看了：
1.英語小笑話很短的
2.簡單英語小笑話帶翻譯閱讀
3.英語小笑話帶翻譯閱讀
4.英語小笑話帶翻譯
5.關于英文小笑話帶翻譯閱讀
6.簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯
感謝您的閱讀！
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(14)
For personal use only in study and research; not for commercial use
For personal use only in study and research; not for commercial use
1
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.
男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？
女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。
3.
My little dog can"t read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
4.
反正我太太明天會來換的
My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
″Any″ he responded.
″Size﹖″
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天會來換的
一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。
“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。
“沒什么區別。”這位顧客回答。
“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。
“什么顏色都成。”他回答。
“號碼呢？”
“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”
5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考試 在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。 這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？ 尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn"t his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的歷史考試 舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？ 母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。
7.he is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。 -- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。
8
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I"d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。 “再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
9
Three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl"s hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we"re not one or two years old!"一個三歲小男孩拉著一個三歲小女孩的手說：“我愛你。”小女孩說：“你能為我的未來負責嗎？”小男孩說：“當然能，我們都不是一兩歲的人了！
10.
Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy." Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied, "Because that/’s what I put in my geography exam!" 睡前禱告詞 朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。” 媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢？” 朱莉葉回答說：“因為我在地理考卷上是這么寫的。”
僅供個人用于學習、研究；不得用于商業用途。
For personal use only in study and research; not for commercial use.
Nur für den pers?nlichen für Studien, Forschung, zu kommerziellen Zwecken verwendet werden.
Pour l "étude et la recherche uniquement à des fins personnelles; pas à des fins commerciales.
?только для людей, которые используются для обучения, исследований и не должны использоваться в коммерческих целях.?
以下無正文
僅供個人用于學習、研究；不得用于商業用途。
For personal use only in study and research; not for commercial use.
Nur für den pers?nlichen für Studien, Forschung, zu kommerziellen Zwecken verwendet werden.
Pour l "étude et la recherche uniquement à des fins personnelles; pas à des fins commerciales.
?только для людей, которые используются для обучения, исследований и не должны использоваться в коммерческих целях.?
以下無正文
For personal use only in study and research; not for commercial use
英語笑話帶翻譯總有你喜歡的(15)
One day a person meet god ... ...
God suddenly decide to give the man a wish ... ...
God asked ... ...
What wishes do you have ... ...
The man thinking ... ...
Heard that cats have9 lives ... ...
Would you please give me9 lives ... ...
God said ... ...
Your wish come true ... ...
One day, the boring ... Want to say one death to die ... ...
There are9 life lying on the tracks ... ...
The results of a train in the past ... ...
The man was dead ... ...
Why is this?
Because the train compartment having10day ... ...
有個人一天碰到上帝......
上帝突然大發善心打算給那人一個愿望......
上帝問......
你有什么愿望嗎......
那個人想了想......
聽說貓都有9條命......
那請您賜給我9條命吧......
上帝說...... 你的愿望實現咯......
一天，那個人閑來無聊...... 想說去死一死算了......
反正有9條命嘛 就躺在鐵軌上......
結果一輛火車開過去......
那人還是死了......
這是為什么呢？
因為那列火車的車廂有10節......
Music class the teacher played a Beethoven song
Xiao Ming asked her:" do you understand music?"
Xiaohua:" yes"
Xiao Ming:" you know what teachers do in the shells?"
Xiaohua:" piano."
音樂課上 老師彈了一首貝多芬的曲子
小明問小華：“你懂音樂嗎？”
小華：“是的”
小明：“那你知道老師在彈什麼嗎？”
小華: “鋼琴。”
Traveler: Can I catch the three o"clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？
售票員：那得看你跑得有多快。火車15分鐘前開出。
